Touching heaven
by thisoldlady
Summary: A smutty sequel to 'You're my hallelujah'. Cas and Dean are celebrating. Trigger warning for leukemia.


In the morning, they have a appointment with the doctors. And the doctors have good news. So good news.

Castiel is in remission. Offical.

There is hope.

After endless hours of fear and desperation, there is hope. After chemotherapy, radiation and bone marrow donation. After an almighty fear of infections and after incredible nausea. There is hope.

Dean never left his side. He was always there. He held Castiel's head while puking. He wiped the sweat of Castiel's forehead. He sat at his bedside and read to him, classics and even friggin' poetry. He accompanied him to medical examinations. He embraced Castiel, while he cried. He held still, when Cas became furious, when Cas raged against god, against fate, against Dean himself.

Dean felt so guilty. He had left Castiel alone, let him and Sam deal with the illness. What a shitty friend, what a shitty brother he was. Unworthy. He was unworthy.

And yet, Castiel forgave him.

And yet, night for night he is the one to hold Castiel.

And it feels so good, so right.

They whisper in the nights, sharing hopes and dreams and memories. Sharing kisses.

And now, there is hope.

A future.

Together.

"Congratulations Mr Novak", the doctor with the professional smile says. "When your recovery progresses like this, your options are great."

Deans grip on Castiel's hand tightens.

There's a bubble of joy bursting in Dean's chest.

"We need to celebrate!" Dean is thrilled.

"When you think."

"Cas, of course we need to celebrate. That are so good news. Are you up to a run to the groccery store? Or should I bring you home first, are you tired?" Castiel smiles at Dean's enthusiasm.

"Everything is fine, let's do some shopping before we go back to the bunker."

Dean frowns, since when does Castiel refers to the bunker as bunker and not as home?

In the grocery store they grab the ingredients for hamburgers and pie (and salad for Sam) and they rush home.

Dean secretly observes Castiel from the corner of her eyes while driving. Castiel is silent, almost distant. Dean doesn't understand. It's day to celebrate, a moment to shout out loud in joy and happiness. A day to dance and sing.

Maybe angels show happiness different ( even ex-angels).

Bullshit!

Dean stops by the side of the road and turns to Castiel.

"Babe, what's wrong with you? You were supposed to laugh and sing and celebrate. But you are so subdued. Why?"

"Don't get me wrong. I'm incredible happy but there is something that worries me. I don't want you to feel obliged to stay with me. Now that I'm better you might go away again. Or maybe you want me to go, after all, the bunker is your home." Castiel voice is small and trembling. He doesn't look at Dean, his head is bent, his whole statue looks defeated.

Dean nearly chokes, tears in his eyes. With shaking fingers he grips Castiel's chin, turning the beloved face in his direction.

Maybe this is the moment, he truly understands how deep his actions in the past had hurt Castiel, his friend, his angel, his...everything.

"I will never leave your side, for as long as you want me. Never. You are the one. The one, that keeps me going. The one I love. You are...everything. I love you. And I am with you, because I love you, not from obligation."

Cas looks at him, with tears in his soulful eyes and Dean's heart breaks over and over for this heavenly creature. Once powerful soldier of god, now battered and bruised human being. But with a heart full of love.

Slowly he leans in and presses his lips against Castiel's. He never gets enough from kissing his angel, he's addicted to the taste of Castiel's lips. He moves gingerly, doesn't want to startle Cas or put him under pressure. He just wants to show Castiel how much he is loved, how deep his feelings for the ex-angel are. Everything, he had never said, he puts into this kiss.

And it seems as if Castiel understands what Dean wants to tell him. He eagerly kisses back, softly moaning in Dean's mouth.

When they break the kiss to come up for air, they rest their foreheads together, smiling at each other. "I love you, too", Castiel says. "Let's drive home and celebrate with Sam. I bet, he wonders, where we are. I don't want him to worry."

"That's my angel, always worried for others! I love you so much", Dean says with a cracking voice.

They drive in silence, but it is a comfortable silence this time.

Sam is thrilled about the good news, in his bear-hug the smaller Castiel almost vanishes.

They spend the evening with laughter and smiles (and a small sip of beer), with good food and good company.

They spend the evening the way it is supposed to be.

Dean never leaves Castiel's side and when Cas calls it a night, Dean accompanies him to their room, leaving it to Sam to clean the kitchen. But Sam doesn't mind.

Castiel turns to Dean, the moment they are in their room, alone, with a closed door.

"Now it is time to celebrate", he says with his deep voice. Dean swallows.

The kiss they share is different from their kiss in the car. It is full of love, too. But it is also full of passion. It starts sweet but it gets rougher, kissing turns into nibbling, into sucking, into biting.

Marking. Claiming.

Castiels fingers are digging into Dean's hips in the effort to keep him even closer.

Both start to pant.

With nimble fingers Dean begins to open the buttons of Castiel's shirt, kissing every inch of newly revealed skin.

He drowns in feelings. The smooth and warm skin his fingers explore. The scent of Cas, enveloping him. Hearing the soft moans and gravelly groans leaving Castiel's mouth, feeling the hot bulge in his trousers. He loves the way, Castiels fingers worm a way under his favorite band-shirt, stroking his naked back, leaving goosebumps in their wake. At this point Dean is so hard, it is almost painful.

They break the heated kiss only to strip Dean from his shirt, throwing it somewhere behind them. They loose themselves in sensations again.

Tumbling and struggling they make their way to their bed, trying to undress and to kiss and to grope and to feel the other one from head to toe. All simultaneously.

They fall onto their bed, giggling and moaning, whispering words of love, kissing.

Castiel's back arches from the memory foam matress the moment Dean licks his nipples, sucking them, transforming them into hard pebbles of want. Alternating between tender kisses and bites, making Cas writhing on the bed. Dean absolutely loves it to see his angel like this. Panting, moaning, flushed, with kiss swollen lips.

Dean kisses the flat stomach of Cas, travelling further and further south, licking his quivering abs. A fine shine of sweat shows on Castiel's skin, making him glow.

He places a chaste kiss on the top of Castiel's hard member, then he takes the head of him in his mouth. It's a first time. They shared only kisses until now. Dean is amazed, how much he loves the feeling of Cas' ridgid flesh in his mouth. He loves the taste of him, the smell. He loves the noises he can elicit from Cas. He loves the texture of Cas' dick, velvety and yet hard as steel. The flat of his tongue licks the underside, feeling the thick veins there, full of blood. He licks away the dribbles of precum, relishing the taste of this very essence of Cas.

"I love you", Dean whispers solemnly. Castiel's arms reach out to Dean to embrace him, to hold him tight, he peppers kisses all along Dean's jawline. Dean settles down on top of Cas, their hard dicks trapped between them.

A hand of Dean sneaks between their bodies, gripping both of their cocks, gripping them with the right amount of pressure, it feels good, oh so good, their cocks gliding against each other, thrusting in Dean's fist, harder and faster, precum dripping, Cas' fingers digging in Dean's shoulders, clutching at him like a lifeline.

Their breath mingles, erratic like their thrusts.

A powerful orgasm washes over Castiel, leaving him breathless, boneless and Dean follows moments later, tumbling over the edge, flying high and higher together with his angel.

Dean seeks out for Castiel's lips. This kiss is tender and mingled with tears.

"Don't leave me, please don't leave me", he cries.

Castiel strokes his back soothingly and croons "I will never leave you. I love you."

"I love you. So much. Please, I know, I behaved like an asshole, I'm so sorry but please, don't leave me."

"I love you."

Castiel kisses away Deans tears.

They have a difficult road ahead of them.

But they are together. In love.

And love will always find a way.


End file.
